She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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