You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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