perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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