i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My life is pants optional.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
