I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
