he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
