Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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