we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
