just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
