i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
