This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it's like iHOP with fire
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
