I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
