The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
