He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am available for nakedness
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
