So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
