When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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