ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
