my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
