please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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