Only a mothe r could love this liver
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
