All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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