Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
