dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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