Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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