make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
