I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
