CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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