What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
