Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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