it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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