last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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