I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think your dad took our porno
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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