Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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