so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Fuck appropriateness.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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