I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
