we have officially lost it.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize