you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
