So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
