**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
