When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
