I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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