You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
