doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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