i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
