And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
