I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
