it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
