please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize