i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
