I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
