I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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