An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
