I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
