I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
