after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Holy shit dude........stairs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
