I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
