guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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