party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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