We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
