I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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