I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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