Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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