i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
