he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
