he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
