I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
