She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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