what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
