I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
