her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize