Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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