ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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