She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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