I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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