Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
