Only a mothe r could love this liver
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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