Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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