If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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