Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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