I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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