a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's always time for handjobs
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
